Hey Reader,

I think there’s a moment that isn’t talked about very much.

When you’ve put time and energy into building something — maybe even years — and then you sit down one day and ask yourself, honestly:

do I actually want this?

I had that moment last year.

I’d trained in different therapies over a number of years, and there was always this idea in the back of my mind that this was what I was meant to be doing. That I should build something from it.

So I tried.

I offered out free treatments. Indian head massage, energy healing. I put myself out there, which doesn’t come naturally to me. It felt uncomfortable, but I did it anyway because I thought that was part of the process.

And on the surface, it was fine. People came. It went okay.

But it all felt like… effort.

A lot of effort to be “on”, to be with people in that way, to keep putting myself out there. And afterwards I’d feel drained. Like I needed a lot of time to come back to myself again.

I told myself I just needed more practice.

So I offered more sessions. Tried to be more consistent. Put more time into Instagram — making posts, scheduling things, trying to get organised with it all.

But it started to feel like I was just keeping myself busy.

Some people didn’t show up. Some came once and never again.

And I remember sitting down a few days after one of those sessions and thinking, properly, for the first time:

do I actually want to be doing this all the time?

Not just occasionally. Not just in theory. But as the thing my life is built around.

And the answer, quietly, was no.

Not because I don’t value the work. I do. I still love the treatments themselves.

But building a whole life around it… something about it just didn’t fit anymore.

That was hard to admit.

Because I’d spent money on training. Time. Energy. And I’d carried this idea for years that this was what I was supposed to be doing.

So part of me wanted to keep pushing. To make it work. To not “waste” everything I’d put into it.

But another part of me just felt… heavy. Restless. Like I was trying to force myself into a shape that wasn’t quite mine anymore.

Looking back, I think I knew before I admitted it to myself.

But I kept going a bit longer anyway.

I think this is a really normal place to find yourself in, even though we don’t talk about it much.

Outgrowing something you once felt certain about.

Realising that something you’ve invested in… isn’t actually where you’re meant to stay.

It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Or that any of it was a waste.

Sometimes it just means something in you has shifted.

I spoke about this more directly in a video this week (yep, back on YouTube!), around the moment where things stop fitting and what that can mean in the wider process of change...

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And if you’re in that space yourself — where something doesn’t quite fit anymore, but you’re not sure what comes next — you don’t have to rush to figure it all out.

You’re allowed to be in that in-between.

Big love,
Sarah